A collective cozy (day 106)

I feel Christmas less than I used to.  Every year it feels a little more arbitrary than the year before.  I watch the lights go up and hear the peripheral chatter about gift buying.  The cards trickle in.  The party invites beep into my inbox.   Most of it feels like someone else's concern.   Despite feeling it less, I do love this time of year.  Especially right after school ends when there is a quiet anticipation of the silence in the city on Christmas day.   For a few days there is a collective relaxing that I really appreciate.  When it's ok not to check email because we've collectively agreed that business can wait.  It's a magical time but it has nothing to do with the usual descriptors of christmas.  It's a magical time because culturally we're taking time to look around.

January 1st marks the end of the magic but the start of a slightly different direction -- sometimes subtle but always hopeful.  It's hard for me to imagine that feeling of renewal right now.  Like many people who are tied to an academic schedule, this time just before the Christmas break is frantic and a bit hazy from the accumulated exhaustion.  It's like seeing the finish line accentuates the tired but also triggers a kind of third wind.  I am curious how it will feel on January 1st.

I'm looking forward to taking some time to work on my projects and read some books.  I might even do nothing for a couple of days.  Let it snow...

A song for this post.

Shut out the shuteye (day 76)

I'm so tired my short term memory is going.  I'm so tired because I punch through the tired to the second, third, and fourth wind.  Eventually I run out of wind and I have to collapse into bed.   I can almost hear the bed berate me incredulously.   I want to be one of those people that can do 4 hours of sleep a night.   My brother and I used to fantasize about what it would be like not to sleep.  Think of all the things you could do.  We didn't think about the fact that it would be more but that everyone could do more too.  It's all in the contrast.  So really we just needed even just a one hour advantage.   People that only need even 6 hours of sleep have a serious advantage over the rest of us.  Evolution, where are you?  I need to need to sleep less!

A song for this post.